Whether you are secretly sad, or you are openly upset, gender disappointment is real.

Everyone dreams of a healthy pregnancy and a baby to hold and cuddle – but sometimes, sometimes the dream is more specific. There may be this burning desire to care for and have one gender over the other. With most women, they refuse to admit that this feeling exists. With some women it truly does not exist. But it is possible; it is real. Gender disappointment can happen to any mother during any pregnancy.

Family members, friends, even strangers may feel the need to chime in about your pregnancy.

‘Oh, another boy? Sorry!’

How to Get Over Gender Disappointment

Find Out Baby's Gender

When a specific gender is wanted so badly, finding out will allow for all of the emotions to be experienced prior to the baby’s arrival.

Admit You are Disappointed

Grieve the Loss of a Baby that Never Existed

This step cannot be completed if you do not admit to the disappointment first. It sounds ridiculous to grieve something that never was a reality; especially when there is so much to celebrate. But grief is strange like that; it needs time and healing before joy can take over. Personally, I looked through my boxes of baby girl clothes, cried, and went for a run. I had to let go of my favorite girl name and the tiny tea party plans. I had to say good bye to the unmade memories and start dreaming of new ones.

Name the Baby

Once your baby has a name, you start to make peace with the gender. Include him/her in your daily conversations and future plans.

Realize this Baby is Yours

This baby is growing perfectly, healthy. He or she is yours. You will soon hold, squeeze, and soak this baby in.

Make a List of Everything Wonderful

Stop thinking about all the reasons you didn't want this gender. Flip the table and give yourself a purpose in raising this gender.

Shop

Retail therapy helps. Shopping for miniature-sized items really helps.

Picture Life Together

Start thinking about family trips and picturing your baby running around. Think about sports games, tea parties, bows, and/or cowboy hats.

Give Birth and Move Forward

Once this baby is in your arms, everything else melts away. Your heart grows as your family grows. You will have the happiest tears!