Typically, children come early within a marriage, when the couple is still fresh and parenthood is a fun challenge not yet understood. There is still immaturity and selfishness, a type of learning-curve that must be achieved, and a sense of confidence that will be rocked in ways new parents can’t plan for. It’s safe to say that those early years of parenthood are full of growth like no other, and while each partner progresses on their journey, the relationship also matures.

When you begin this chapter of life called Parenthood, the holidays such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are exciting, fun, and pretty much juvenile. Hear me out here; our first year as parents included celebrations that revolved around the family as a whole. We ate brunches, spent the day completely together ooooooohing and ahhhhhhhing over how amazing we were as parents. There were cheesy gifts that included hand-printed flower pots and other random things that were handmade and fit in to our miniscule budget. And while these days are fond memories, eight years later, we can also laugh at ourselves. We are well into the true childhood years of parenting now. Those first few toddler celebration years were spent similar to the one mentioned above. Can you relate? Can you remember? Are you hating me for bashing the way you are spending these holidays this year? Don’t. Please don’t. Cherish them! I know that I will cherish them forever… But I am also very happy to say that relationships mature over the years. The (unknown) insecurity of needing to spend Father’s Day with your partner and thinking that the day is about the entire family does grow as you grow. Over time, and many, many restless years, you start to realize that the true celebration of Father’s Day (and Mother’s Day!) is the bond between the parent and child(ren). Once you come to this place, the holiday becomes so much more fun!

As the wife, partner, and mother of the children, you now have an amazing job to do. Your job is to encourage your husband, partner, and father of the children to work on his relationship with the kids. Father’s Day is the opportunity to share a hobby and invite the kids to learn from Dad. It’s a chance to create a foundation for a stronger connection. There can still be cheesy handmade gifts, but the overall promise of the day is the knowledge that it is creating the lasting future. The maturity does not end with this new-found knowledge. It then continues to grow to the point when you realize that you love and understand your partner well enough to gift him something he will truly enjoy. Whether it be a weekend fishing trip, a camping adventure, entry to a race, or lessons to something he has always wanted to pursue, Father’s Day is the perfect opportunity to surprise him. As the children grow, they can join him on these adventures, but it’s okay for him to fly solo – or with his own dad, too. So, enjoy whatever stage of Father’s Day planning you are in this year. Whether it be finger-painted coffee mugs and a family day at the zoo, or a weekend camping trip with three-generations together. Always remember, that the bond between Dad and Child is truly special and anything you can do to encourage and strengthen it is the best Father’s Day gift possible.