As life grows and relationships progress, the meaning of certain days may be altered slightly.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect example.

Once a baby is introduced into a relationship, the original love that has been celebrated in the past is at a new level.  A level that is not understood until it is experienced.  It’s no wonder that couples who have just experienced parenthood tend to highlight their first Valentine’s day as a family.  A husband (or partner) is looking at the new mother as superwoman, and the woman sees her partner as the person who helped create this new life.  What an amazing new stage of a relationship to celebrate!

So how should you celebrate?  I listed wonderful ideas to begin Valentine’s Day Traditions last week, but those tend to start once the child(ren) are a little older.  I want to focus on the infant period.  The stage of parenthood when the new love is still in its babymoon period, sleep is sporadic, life is still adjusting, and attention to the relationship at its core is needed.

Ideas to Spoil a New Mom on Valentine’s Day:

The key here is to make her feel pampered.  As a new mom, she overlooks and puts everyone before herself.  Has she had her hair done since having the baby?  How about a massage? Does she spend the day in pajamas, breastfeeding a baby, cooking and cleaning? Is she trying to work fulltime and pull the all night baby shift at home?  As a mom, she wants to feel WANTED not just needed.  Spoil her; pamper her; appreciate – but more so – LOVE her.

Ask her to pump enough milk for her to go be pampered without worrying about taking care of the baby.  Treat her to:

  • A Break.  Take care of everything for a day, from breakfast to laundry to cleaning bathrooms.  Let her feel as though she doesn’t need to lift a finger.
  • Massage
  • Hair Appointment
  • Manicure/Pedicure
  • Shopping Trip: TRUST ME – her body has changed; pretty new clothes will help her adjust to the changes.
  • A House Cleaner
  • Family Photographer.  Every mom loves having family pictures, but she is rarely in front of the camera.  Set up a photography session and BE HAPPY FOR IT.
  • Her Favorite Dessert
  • A Night in a Hotel ALONE.  If she would feel comfortable being away an entire night, book her a night in a hotel with room service and a spa.
  • Your Attention.  I’m serious, a new mom craves to be held, touched, and shown love with her partner. She needs more than a conversation about the baby.  She wants to be a part of your life and not just the mother to your baby.

A gift she can open:

  • Memorable Jewelry:  Breastmilk Jewelry, Nursing Necklace, Motherhood Necklace, or a piece of jewelry that will make her smile.

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  • Organic Body or Bath Products.  Body scrub, bath salts, lotion, expensive products she has wanted but hasn’t splurged on.
  • Her Favorite Tea or Coffee.  This can be in gift card form and a solo trip to the local coffee shop, or presented in a gift package with a few more of her favorite things.
  • A Himalayan Salt Lamp.  Canceling the harmful ions produced by our computers, light bulbs, and other products throughout the room, a salt lamp helps with sleep, allergies, headaches, and so many other things!
  • A Pretty Nighty:  Skip the lingerie, it won’t go over well. Look for something she can still nurse in, but will feel incredibly beautiful and sexy in.

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  • A Fancy Wine Glass and a Few Nice Bottles of Wine: You knew this would be on my list.

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Ideas to Spoil a New Dad on Valentine’s Day:

  • A Lesson toward a New Hobby.   My husband loves to fly fish.  $40 gets him a personal lesson, on the water.  You can sign him up for a running club, golf lessons, photography class.  Just remember that you want him to love it.  Think about including one of his best guy friends so he’ll feel more comfortable.
  • A Day/Weekend to Himself.   Being a dad isn’t easy.  He is constantly worried about Baby and Mom.  His heart is so full, and he wants to provide for everyone and help in every way he can – even if it’s not recognized as help from his partner – he is trying.  Treat him to a man’s camping weekend, a guided fishing trip, a day trip for white water rafting with friends, a lift ticket to snowboard, etc.  It doesn’t have to be that crazy; he may just want to go to a local sporting event or happy hour with coworkers.
  • Massage. Yes, men like being rubbed on just as much as women do.

Gifts He Can Open:

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  • Apple TV or Smart TV
  • YOU.  You, naked with a ribbon tied scandalously around you…

Ideas to Strengthen the Relationship on Valentine’s Day:

Since the birth of your baby, the two of you have been giving your all to parenting.  Take the day to focus on each other.

If you have family nearby to watch the baby (or a wonderful sitter):

  • Go on a Daytime Date.   You are both exhausted.  Skip the night time events and head out for a hike, a painting class, a groupon’d paddle boarding hour, or even lunch and a trip to the bookstore.
  • Grab Dessert.  Don’t leave baby long enough to worry.  Enjoy a quick date for ice-cream and wine.

Other Ideas:

  • Work on a puzzle together.
  • Talk. Talk about the future, but remember to talk to about one another – not just the family.
  • Make Dinner Together.  Turn on music, pour the wine, and hang out in the kitchen together.
  • Exchange cards.  Make a rule that they must be written in – not just a generic “I Love You.”
  • Have a Date Night at Home (Read about all of my fun ideas in our next article)
  • Have Sex:  GOOD Sex. Reconnect physically.
  • Make sex fun… Seductive even. Use a feather, strawberries, even a blindfold